A World of Possibility

Sorry for being such an inconsistent blogger lately! I find it difficult to write engaging posts for you when I’m home, spending most of my time working and saving for the next adventure (and it’s a big adventure). But being home and surrounded by family and friends brings with it a little bit of enlightenment, so I’ll likely be sharing some of that with you lately with more reflection posts rather than actual travel posts.

It’s a funny moment when you realize how differently you view the progression of your life compared to those around you. It’s exciting to think of all the different directions your life can take. It’s an overwhelming feeling when you realize that the whole world, in all its entirety, is just at the edge of your fingertips.

I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine who just could not understand how I could be content not knowing where my life would take me.

Don’t I worry about my future? She asked me.

What do you mean, you don’t know where you want to live? Don’t you want to be here, with the people you grew up with, where you were born?

Just last evening as I was discussing with my dad about why I was considering getting a third job – to simultaneously pay off student loans and save up for travel – he stopped, saying I made him think. About what? Oh, just about your future, he said. I’m not sure whether his thoughts were of worry or of excitement for me in all that I hope to accomplish with this life. Either way, he was uncertain.

All of these wonderful, supportive people in my life seem to worry silently about what I’m doing with my life and here I am, completely unperturbed. I used to worry, to stress over when I should start focusing on my career, when I would figure out where in the world I was meant to live but over the last year, that worry stopped. It was replaced with an absolute contentment and an insatiable excitement for my future.

I realized that many people make their life goals and decisions about career and home based on where they were born, where their family is, the profession that generations before them have been doing, the career that makes the big money. Here, we call it “the Alberta lifestyle” – big money from oil, big house close to family and friends, fancy car and big toys. It’s the Albertan dream and many of my friends and family desire that.

There’s nothing wrong with that desire, either. In fact, I envy them for their certainty, for their happiness in checking off the boxes: degree, career, house, family, money, 7-10 day vacation time each year. I started to explore that with myself even, to wonder whether I wanted that as well and just hadn’t stopped long enough to realize it. But the more I think about it and share my thoughts, the more I realize that that lifestyle couldn’t be farther away from what I want.

Traveling opens a whole new world of possibilities.

That one week vacation you can’t wait to take each year to that hot, tropical destination doesn’t have to be a once a year place. Who is telling us that that is all we deserve? Why can’t it be your norm? Why can’t you wake up to the sea at your toes every morning?

The answer is, it can. All of those things become more realistic the farther you get from the average.

What once seemed like nothing but a dream becomes a real option after experiencing it first hand.  A lifetime living on an island sounds like a fantasy to those who have never had the chance to try it out but it can be a clear reality to those who have been able to live that, even for just a few months.

It’s not all sunshine and daisies though, it takes hard work. It takes courage to explain to people that this lifestyle just isn’t what you want for yourself. It’s even harder when you have to be careful not to offend them because the lifestyle you don’t want is the lifestyle they have and will have for the rest of their life.

But when you take the chance to travel – if you haven’t already – you’ll catch a glimpse of what I’m talking about. You’ll notice your idea of reality begin to change and you will realize that the whole world and all of the possibilities that it brings is truly right at your fingertips.

You just need to grab it.

Stop Apologizing For Laughing Too Much: 4 Ways Laughing More Leads To A Better Life

There was a moment in my life when I did the unthinkable. I was sitting in the front row of my late uncle’s funeral service. Somebody was up at the podium, delivering a tear-stained speech, and I was sitting there, listening. But I was also thinking about a time I had spent with him, a hilarious moment where we had both gotten belly aches from laughing too hard.

So I did the unthinkable, one of the most horrific social taboos at a funeral: I laughed.

A bubbling giggle erupted from within, and I laughed in the middle of a very sad speech. I clapped my hands over my mouth, and was relieved when I realized only one person had noticed. This marked the beginning of my never-ending struggle with laughing “too much.” I can’t count the number of times somebody has commented on the fact I laugh too much.

Too much? Is there such a thing as laughing too much?

I made people feel like comedians because I laughed at nearly everything they said. I made people slightly uncomfortable when they noticed me laughing at inappropriate times. These comments used to make me embarrassed, and I would practice containing my laughter at every opportunity.

As a young woman who has come to learn who she is, what drives her forward and what she wants out of life, I no longer repress my laughter. I laugh at the best of times and even at the worst of times.

But I refuse to apologize for it. I would much rather spend my days bursting with laughter.

1. Laughter is good for your health.

Patty Wooten, RN, wrote about the many benefits of laughter in her article, “Humor An Antidote For Stress.”

Thanks to a natural decrease in stress hormones and an increase in blood flow, you will simultaneously be protecting your body from heart problems when you laugh.

You will also generally strengthen your body’s immune system. This will decrease your chances of infections and disease, and will keep your vitality strong.

The simple act of laughing releases endorphins into the brain, making you naturally feel good, and who doesn’t want to feel good? People go to great lengths to release these natural feel-good chemicals. But if you’re not the type of person to run for an hour, start laughing more, and you’ll begin to notice yourself having a happier, more content disposition in your daily life.

2. Laughter strengthens your relationships.

Don’t be the person radiating the negative energy that comes with stress. Instead, start focusing on radiating laughter and positivity, which are the two things that draw people in.

Incorporating more laughter into your life can increase and strengthen the quality of all your relationships, from romantic to professional. This, in turn, will increase the quality of your time in all aspects of your life.

3. Laughter shifts your perspective.

Being able to laugh about almost anything will ultimately begin to shift your perspective. Noticing things with a lighter view will help to keep you from feeling overwhelmed by the tasks you need to do. It will also stop you from taking minor setbacks so seriously.

Laughter broadens the mind and decreases the narrow-minded views that focus on the negativity of a situation, rather than the silver lining. Aren’t we all a little bit jealous of the people who can just go with the flow? Don’t we always wonder how those people can just take a pitfall and turn it into a positive?

Well, it has a lot to do with relaxation. A good, belly-aching laugh instantly relaxes the whole body and relieves built-up stress and tension. Having a relaxed body, mind and outlook will help you take on life with a brighter, more positive and relaxed perspective.

4. Laughter makes you more attractive.

Sociology backs me up on this one. People who smile and laugh often are more attractive than people who are unhappy or angry. Cut down your mirror time, skip the heavy face of makeup and start showing off your pearly whites.

Humor also has a tendency to ease the tension or awkwardness in a situation. So, if you’re on a first date, don’t be afraid to crack a joke. It’s all about people being drawn in to those who inspire, motivate and make them laugh.

 

Original post can be found here.

It’s Time To Rephrase the Question.

I have grown up in a society blinded by the goal of having money. Money has always seemed to be the first priority and people around me work insane hours in order to make as much as they can. The result? We stop working to live and start living to work. I can’t count the number of times visiting with my friends revolved around a quick dinner and spending most of that time talking about our jobs – and don’t even get me started on the dating scene, where the first question is always what do you do for work? Every time someone asks me that question I want to bang my head on the table, gulp down my drink and get the hell out of there. I know it’s just how our culture is: we are represented by what we do, not by who or what we love, not by what makes us angry, not by what bring joy and excitement into our lives. I know it’s not easy to change the way you think but quite frankly, I’ve had enough.

As part of a human family, we should be wanting to know and engage with who a person is, not a person’s job. Our job does not define us and it should not be the most commonly discussed topic of conversation. Whether you love your job or just do it to pay the bills, you are more than your job description. Our job title makes up a very tiny part of our identity and yet it is often the focus.

The next time you sit down on a first date or meet someone for the first time in any situation, catch yourself. Stop using the standard, simple question to spark conversation. Start asking the complicated questions, the questions that trigger a story, an emotion, a glimpse into who a person really is. Ask the questions that will give you a unique response from every person, not a robotic line that has been practiced and recited at every dinner party.

Rephrase the question.

What do you do? What do you do with this life of yours that makes it worth while, special even. What do you do that makes you feel like the happiest person in the world? What topics are so unjust to you that it makes your anger move towards activism. What do you do when you’re not working? Not studying? What are the things that are most important to you, that makes your heart fill with love and joy.

And not only what but why. How many times have you told someone your line of work and have them ask you why? Better yet, do you have an answer that you’re proud of? You will be amazed at first by the unsure reactions of others when they say… what do you mean?  As if they’ve never really thought about it themselves. But trust me, the moment you do start thinking about it is the moment your life shifts for the better.

The moment we begin to rephrase this question, out loud and in our minds, we will begin to understand the delicate necessity of balance in our lives (and that doesn’t include work and then watching fictional people live their lives through Netflix, either). We can begin letting go of the notion that we don’t have time to do things, that we don’t have enough money to do things, etc. We can stop letting work dictate our lives and start running them ourselves.  When we begin to rephrase this question, we can stop understanding people on a superficial level and start truly engaging with the person that is in front of us.

Life is all about building true, deep relationships with like-minded people that inspire, motivate and bring joy into your life.  It’s time to begin focusing on the soul of the person you’re with and start rephrasing the question.

Stillness.

Stillness.

The silence that engulfs the air, making it thick with it. The pauses between words, that beautiful calm filled only with the beating of hearts.

I love the sound of silence, the stillness of a lazy morning or the setting of the sun. It feeds the energy in my soul, energizing and rejuvenating it. I come away from stillness feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world — literally.

When I lose sight of my intentions for this life of mine, I try to find that space of stillness. Life sweeps you away sometimes, the good and the bad of it tangle you up until you are tumbling around in it. That’s what travel feels like to me, constant motion. Every moment in a day is intensified with electricity. It’s an exhilarating chaos that I often try to keep up with.

I can last a long time without that stillness, when everything is an adventure. I crave the adventure and the change that it brings. It’s only when I take a second to pause that I realize my soul, as much as it loves the rush, needs to be still. As much as it craves the excitement, it also craves the stillness. For a moment.

I’ve been developing the skill to be able to find stillness at any time, in any place or any moment. While I’ve not yet mastered it, I am able to find stillness within myself in the sound of the crashing waves of the ocean, in the fresh air of the mountains, in the feeling of a deep breath, the sequence of a sun salutation, or in the calm of a familiar cabin.

Re-connecting with stillness brings me back. It reminds me of my purpose, it brings joy to my heart and fills my spirit with all of the inspiration and excitement about life that might begin to slip away in the tumbling of constant motion.

When Your Love of the World is Stronger than Your Desire to Love a Person

“I don’t know where I am going,
but I am on my way.”
-Carl Sagan

Every time I check my news feed I am bombarded with couples madly in love with each other. There are engagement announcements, girls showing off the new diamonds on their ring finger, wedding dates, pregnancy announcements and baby photos. I realize that the age I am now is a perfectly acceptable age to get married and have kids… but that is the farthest thing from my mind. Hell, I can’t even commit to a relationship without my brain piping in and asking “what’s the point?” Having my brain dictate this part of my life is unusual for me. I’m an overly emotional person, I react and make choices based on my feelings about things and what my heart tells me, not my brain. In a way I am following my heart in this area of my life as well, it’s just that my heart always takes me away from possible relationships and further into the parts of the world I have yet to experience.

My poor parents are desperate for me to fall in love, settle down, and find someone to share my life with. Sure, that sounds nice but it also sounds terrifying to be trapped in a life with one single person, to have to consider that they might miss you if you want to get up and go to another country for months at a time, that your love for the world might trump your love for them. People constantly ask “why are you still single?” “haven’t you met someone yet?” “aren’t you lonely?” or suggest that my standards are too high. It’s not that I haven’t had the chance for love to happen, it’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity to get into a relationship with someone, it’s that there is always a reason not to and that reason, almost every time, is travel. And no, I’m not lonely thank-you-very-much.  As an introverted person to begin with, I rarely get lonely. I can spend days by myself and enjoy every second of it and I’m thankful for that. It makes these decisions a lot easier than it might be for someone else.

I have met men that make me stop and re-evaluate things. I think that maybe I should give it a chance, maybe they would make the perfect partner, maybe something great could come out of this. But then I remember I’m leaving again in a few months time and that I’ll be leaving again and again until one day I’m gone for years at a time on my quest to see the world. The pull to travel is what fuels me in every aspect of my life and I don’t think that they fully grasp what that means. I am constantly coming and going and that is simply not fair to any man that loves me. Until I feel so strongly that I need to be with someone, I will always put travel first. Some may call that selfish but that’s just the way it is and how it will continue to be until one day, I’ve felt that I’ve seen and done all that I wanted to see and do.

There will come a time for settling, for committing to a relationship that’s longer than a couple of months, for nesting and children, a nostalgia-inducing spot in your city that is “your place”. But for now, I like being independent and free to go wherever I please, whenever I please. I enjoy being able to watch my friend’s kids and then -hallelujah- give them back! I like the possibility of living in another city six months down the road. I like waking up to the different sounds that make up a beach town, or a village, an elephant sanctuary or a bustling city. I like falling in love over and over again with sunsets in different parts of the world. I like the connections, freedom, and spontaneous moments that traveling brings. That is the life for me right now and that is the life that I love. That is where my heart truly lies. I am certain that there are more young women who feel the same way and that is okay. We shouldn’t have to apologize for it or explain it to those who don’t understand. I for one refuse to apologize for where my heart is taking me when it feels so right.